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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    In the DRIFT!

    This world is really messed up!

    I really really don't know what to do. Part of me wants to go into a depression, another part of me wants to go out and murder every ****ing ******* I see causing pain to anyone.

    When I was in AZ, one of the first people I became friends with was this girl named Heather. I was attracted to her but she had a BF at the time so I kinda let her go, but we still became really close friends. We became even closer when we started to depend on eachother for support when something bad happend. She and I shared similar pasts with abuse and whatnot, and a lot of it stuck with her. She is probably the sweetest, unselfish person I have ever met. She wanted to be a teacher and read to first graders, and she loved playing with little kids and making them smile.

    When she was 15, she was raped, got pregnant, had a baby boy who died 3 days later. That pretty much destroyed her, and I was always trying to be with her so I could be there when she needed emotional support. She was raped again when she was 17, got pregnant again and had to end up putting the baby up for adoption. She never turned to drugs, or smoking, or anything like that, she just seemed to have an infinite ammount of willpower to keep pushing after the worst has happend. She was a straight A student, and from first look, seemed to have the perfect life. But her life was anything but perfect, she just knew how to keep it away from people.

    Anyways, today...12-15-04 is her 19th birthday. Her parents were down and I sent her a nice little eCard since I couldnt be there because I moved back to cali. The charger on my phone went out, so my cell has been dead for a few days, but she left me a voice mail with so much happyness, and joy. I felt so happy for her. She was finally able to do the one thing she loved in life. Aparrently, her parents got a letter from U.C. Berkley, saying she was accepted, and they gave it to her as one of her birthday presents. A gift she will no longer see...

    After her party, her ex and a few of his friends followed her home, got into the house, and she was raped again. She left me 3 voicemails after that, completely in tears, trying to describe what had happend to her. She also sent me mass IMs telling me what happend, and telling me to call her because she needed me to comfort her, and she kept trying to send web cam invites, pleading to me to let her see my face for one last time.

    I finally got a new charger at Target, and by the time I got to the voicemails, I had already known what had happend from the IMs. It was too late. I tried calling her house phone a few times, leaving messages, then her cell phone. She never answered. I called my friend Jason who is a co-worker to see if he had seen her, and he said that she had taken the week off to be with her family for her birthday. I left her IMs, voicemails, I tried all her friends who I knew, none of them knew where she was.

    Police called me about 20 mins ago, telling me that they had found her. They said that I was the last call that she made. Her last plea for help. She had rested her neck on the rail road tracks in the path of an oncoming train, which to say the least severed her head clean. She had a note that said "Never again." Which to me, sounded like she didnt want to have another child from rape. Not to lose another part of her as she has the two previous times.

    And I feel it is all my fault. If only my phone had worked, I could have talked to her, been there for her as she wanted me to be. To be her protector, to be that one person in her life who believed in her, and that one person to tell her everything was going to be alright. To be that person who cared so much for her, yet still a ghost in her eyes...

    R.I.P. Heather...I miss you

    Here is something she wrote me a while back when I was still in AZ.

    Last edited by neelz; 12-15-2004 at 07:05 PM.
    3Ds Max freak in the making all thanks to 3D Buzz!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    That's horrible, absolutely horrible.

    Just stay calm cerberus, and don't do anything crazy. If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me and I'll give you my MSN address.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    London, England
    i wanna cry... no one should have to go through something like that.
    Last edited by Ti22; 12-15-2004 at 07:14 PM.
    visit my

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Swindon, UK
    im sorry to hear about your loss hmm i really dont know what to say, that has to be the most horrible thing ive ever heard
    I know you must be feeling really really bad atm, but don't blame yourself, think about how special you must have been to her for her to want you by her side through all of this
    just stay calm cos im sure you'd be feeling angry, but just think about how happy you made her, if anything, those thoughts will get you past this, it did with me anyway
    - Simon

    "Life. Its far more important than what you do for a living" - Richard Dean Anderson

    My Site:

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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    never never land :o) *Corona, CA
    I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolsences to her family and you. i hope that you do not do anything to cause harm to yourself or whatnot. If you need someone to talk to, you can feel free to pm me.

    I was wondering if she was still in Arizona because i live in Arizona and have not heard of any news of something of that nature. Not that i don't believe you but just wondering.

    again i'm sorry to hear of such tragic news.
    ~*Laughter is timeless, Imagination has no age and Dreams are forever*~Walt Disney
    ~*its not what you are doing but who are you doing it with that makes the difference*~special man .LURM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    im not much one who can be of great emotional help. I wish i could honestly help, all id be good for is a convo on irc if it'll help. i offer all my condolances and i hope you make it threw this, im sure the whole community will try to help however they can.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Just over here
    No words will make you feel better, but know that this wasn't your fault.
    "It would be vain to imagine we could be favored without effort. Miracles come to those who risk defeat in seeking them. They come to those who have exhausted themselves completely in a struggle to accomplish the impossible."

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Sigh. I'm sorry to hear about your loss, cerberus2k7, that story is truly shocking. I know it'll be hard but please try to realise it wasn't your fault, Heather wouldn't want you to think that.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    The Great White North
    I'm truly sorry to hear this.
    Veni, vidi , Edidi

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Toronto, Canada
    whoa... i also have no idea what to say to that except that i hope you are dealing with this ok. i would hate to read another post describing similar happens about you (or anyone for that matter).

    situations like this are tough to deal with. my condolences to you and to her family.
    - Rik

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